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This Winter

 As I wait very impatiently for volume six of Heartstopper to arrive via graphic novel (I hear sometime in July but that might as well be twelve years away), I've decided to read some of the non-Heartstopper branded stories in the Oseman-verse. As you can tell by the title of this post, this one is about one of her e-books: This Winter. This story is more of a novella than a full on book but it's still more Oseman-verse material for me to digest. It takes place on the first Christmas Day with Nick and Charlie as a couple. Charlie has just come out of being an inpatient for his anorexia as well as his self harm relapse. Obviously, this leads to issues when his extended family arrive at the house for their Christmas party and continue to either ask him questions or make their own warped observations about mental health facilities. Charlie's sister Tori describes the scene as this: "I hate the way people react when they learn Charlie spent a few weeks as an in-patient. As...
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Troll

Since I've become more open about myself on social media, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Ignorant people just can't help themselves sometimes. Funny part was that it wasn't even on my own page or DMs. I've been following lots of pride style pages (Pan Pride, Gay Pride, LGBTQ comics, etc.) and one happen to ask for people to post selfies from the last time they felt cute. I responded with one I took prior to my most recent date with Aerith. I made sure to mention how that night ended with me having a girlfriend (still love pointing out that I have one now lol). This morning, I got a notification that my post had a comment. It was from a profile called "fcuk the system" (yes, that's really how they spelled it). Ooooh, so tough and rebellious. Misspelling words so as not to trigger Zuckerberg's vulgarity bots. Their profile header says something like "fighting the good fight against the vegan, liberal, and transgender crap" (I say ...
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From Every Direction

It's funny how romance can work. One minute, you're seeing so little interest that you think your dating days are over. Then, you find someone and become romantically involved with them. Suddenly, everyone seems to be coming out of the woodwork to either flirt with you or make their romantic intentions more clear. This happened to me whenever I was married. It was incredible how many people were suddenly flirting with me, inviting me out or giving me that "come hither" look. And they all knew I was married. One such person was someone I worked with at a nursing home. I was just engaged at that point but was literally weeks away from getting married. This girl began flirting with me everyday, started calling me "honey" all the time and even referred to me as her work husband. Eventually, she even said how she would let me sleep with her as my last lay as a single man. I won't lie: I had lots of emotions running through my head when she told me that. They ...
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Human Contact

As mentioned yesterday, I had an appointment in the nearby college town in the afternoon. Also, Aerith's house just happens to be on the way there. So, I made it a point to stop in and see my girlfriend after that appointment yesterday. She hadn't been feeling well the last few days, so I made up a care package for her: I got her a can of Chunky chicken noodle soup, a full box of tissues, a six pack of Pure Leaf Blackberry tea, and a picture that I had Willow draw for her. It was a picture of a Space Wolf captain from Warhammer Space Marines. Aerith absolutely loved it. 😊 She fell in awe of the care package and then we embraced. As we did, a feeling of euphoria washed over me. I was beyond happy to have someone romantically embrace me again. We didn't kiss on the lips as she was still worried about getting me sick. We did kiss each other on the cheek and forehead numerous times though. I didn't go home right away as I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. I...
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Working for the Weekend

Hello, my loves! I hope you all had another wonderful weekend! Mine was relatively lazy. I definitely needed a couple of days to recharge my batteries. I wasn't expecting my late thirties to be my party animal phase but I've been so busy the last several weekends. I'm planning a trip to the nearby college town next weekend. Might even be going solo but we'll get into that. First, an update on where things stand with everybody this week. I took today off from work as I have a periodontist appointment in the college town this afternoon. For those unaware, periodontology is a specialized field of dentistry. It specifically deals with surgery and care of the teeth, gums and jawbones. Last year, during a routine checkup with my dentist, they did a scan and discovered a huge gap between my one molar and my jawbone. So, that needs fixed. My best guess is that when I had my wisdom teeth removed nearly 20 years ago, the one spot didn't fill back in (that tooth was impacted)....
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We Need to Talk About Griffin

They say it can be hard being friends sometimes. That has certainly been the case with my best guy friend lately. Over the past month, Griffin's attitude has changed. This is especially the case whenever I hang out with or even discuss Aerith. It seems to me that he's jealous of the time and energy I'm spending on her. He's even said before that while he's happy for me, "I'm sure this means that you'll completely forget about me sooner or later now that you have a girlfriend." I've always assured him that such a situation isn't the case but he doesn't seem to fully grasp that. He threw a huge, passive aggressive fit around New Year's Eve when I decided to spend it with Aerith and her friends instead of him. It seemed to get worse whenever she would be brought up or even after they met. However, our issue that kicked off yesterday didn't even involve Aerith but did involve Griffin's attitude. Usually, we'll message each o...
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Handsome vs. Beautiful

Having been AMAB, I've gotten compliments on my appearance as some form of "you're handsome." Whenever I did, I'd cringe. Part of it is low self esteem. You get bullied and insulted your entire life and you can't help but believe it. Another part is not feeling handsome. That goes to body image and how I notice every little flaw on me. From every fat roll to every blemish to every ingrown hair, it chips away at my feelings of being "handsome." Finally, part of it was just I didn't enjoy being called handsome in general. Like, I didn't want people to think that of me. I didn't want to be "handsome." I wanted to be beautiful. While denying my feminine side for so long, part of me would see these beautiful women, the attention they'd get, and wish that I could be in their shoes at that moment. Of course, with that low self esteem, I never thought I'd get close to that feeling; even after embracing my Trixie side more and mo...
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