This Winter

 As I wait very impatiently for volume six of Heartstopper to arrive via graphic novel (I hear sometime in July but that might as well be twelve years away), I've decided to read some of the non-Heartstopper branded stories in the Oseman-verse.

As you can tell by the title of this post, this one is about one of her e-books: This Winter. This story is more of a novella than a full on book but it's still more Oseman-verse material for me to digest.

It takes place on the first Christmas Day with Nick and Charlie as a couple. Charlie has just come out of being an inpatient for his anorexia as well as his self harm relapse. Obviously, this leads to issues when his extended family arrive at the house for their Christmas party and continue to either ask him questions or make their own warped observations about mental health facilities.

Charlie's sister Tori describes the scene as this: "I hate the way people react when they learn Charlie spent a few weeks as an in-patient. As if it's the most horrific thing they've ever heard." (pg. 27).

I can definitely relate as people's reactions when they learn how I spent some time in a facility can go from shock to intrigue to sorrowful. Sometimes one after another. I even had my own misinformed thoughts about facilities like that before I went in for five days.

Of course, I was wrong about how those places are truly handled and so are lots of people, honestly.

Tori continues thusly: "But the one Charlie went to helped him more than me and Mum and Dad were ever able to. He had a whole team of experts helping him understand his feelings and start working towards recovery, without the distraction and pressure of school. In all honesty, going to one probably saved Charlie's life." (pg. 28).

I couldn't agree more with that last part. Considering my mental state whenever I went in there, I'd hate to think where I'd be right now if I hadn't sought help. Might not even be here at all.

As mentioned, Charlie's extended family doesn't help matters with their badgering. Plus, his own mother pushes his buttons and gets into an argument with him. Reminded me of when I came out of the facility and got yelled at by my wife over me asking my mom to check in on her.

Charlie explains his feelings on this situation: "When people know you're mentally ill, most people either want to ignore it completely or they treat you like you're strange, scary, or fascinating. Very few people are actually good at the middle ground...It's just being there. Being helpful, if help is needed. Being understanding, even if they don't understand everything." (pg. 68).

It can be difficult to find people like that. It can also be tough to even open up to people about this. Still, I've found that the more I do open up, about both my mental health struggles and coming out as pan and genderfluid, has been incredible for my overall mood. Honesty can be difficult but it can also help you move on from your pain or your doubts (Hint, hint, Griffin).

As things go badly, people start to blame themselves for how Charlie's doing.

Tori thinks "...it was probably my fault it got so bad...I didn't talk to him enough. I didn't do enough." (pg. 6).

Of course, Charlie blames himself: "...I'm a hypocritical piece of shit. I complain all the time about people feeling sorry for me, but I still manage to be as dramatic as possible..." (pg. 48).

Charlie's mom does also realize her blame in the issues.

Still, blame is never important when it comes to mental health issues. It's not about throwing around blame on anyone. It's about finding ways to move on and get better. 

Nick says it perfectly to Charlie whenever he seeks him out for comfort: "I think sometimes you're so scared of being a burden that it makes you terrified to ask for help. But you have lots of people around you that would be there for you, if you opened up about what help you need." (pgs. 77-78).

Leaving your feelings bottled up, pushing people away, or constantly throwing out excuses on why things are too hard does you not any of your loved ones any good. If you're having issues, discuss them with people you trust. They're there for you and only want the best for you.

Eventually, they all meet back up at Charlie's home as the day comes to an end. Obviously, only being a novella means that the story is relatively short. Still, it's a nice side story to the main Heartstopper mythos. Obviously, the mental health aspects spoke to me on a personal level. Depending on your speed reading abilities, you can probably finish this one within an hour or two.

Next week (at some point), I'll cover the novel that started it all for the Oseman-verse.

Until then, I hope you have a wonderful weekend. If you're in the path of that massive winter storm coming this weekend (like me), please stay save.

Chat with you next week, my loves!

-Trixie 😘 ❤️