From Every Direction

It's funny how romance can work.

One minute, you're seeing so little interest that you think your dating days are over. Then, you find someone and become romantically involved with them. Suddenly, everyone seems to be coming out of the woodwork to either flirt with you or make their romantic intentions more clear.

This happened to me whenever I was married. It was incredible how many people were suddenly flirting with me, inviting me out or giving me that "come hither" look. And they all knew I was married.

One such person was someone I worked with at a nursing home. I was just engaged at that point but was literally weeks away from getting married. This girl began flirting with me everyday, started calling me "honey" all the time and even referred to me as her work husband. Eventually, she even said how she would let me sleep with her as my last lay as a single man.

I won't lie: I had lots of emotions running through my head when she told me that. They ranged from shock to embarrassment to orgasmic excitement until it finally settled on one certain emotion...guilt.

I was still in love with my soon to be wife at that point and I wasn't going to keep this up with this coworker just to get along with her. I pretty much ignored her from then on and never re-engaged any intimate conversations with her. I had friended her on Facebook and quickly unfriended her. I also told my soon to be wife what was happening and told her that I wasn't going to even talk to this other girl again. She was worried but at least trusted me enough to continue on with the marriage. 

For better or much worse (especially in her case when it comes to loyalty).

While I did have some others show some interest, it was nothing that intense. Just innocent flirting at work that never goes anywhere nor do either person try to take it further. I did have some women hit on me whenever I would DJ at a club on off weekends. They would usually stop though whenever I pointed to my ring finger. Those who didn't, I would ignore until I could get my money from the bar and leave.

I was always honest with my ex whenever something like this would pop up. I didn't want something happening with the other person telling my ex about it and blowing things out of proportion. That wedding ring meant complete loyalty to my wife.

Of course, I've already gone into detail before on how that loyalty wasn't returned.

Now, it's starting up again. I don't expect it to be as widespread as when I was married though. I'm older, I'm a parent and lots of people know about me being pansexual and genderfluid. That definitely drops a ton of potential chasers in this area. About the only thing nice about living in a predominantly conservative area.

Still, it did happen this morning. I was running to the store real quick to grab something for work. The cashier was someone with whom I used to work. She was polite and said how she was happy for me. I reiterated too how happy Aerith made me.

Well, she then went into "you know, there was definitely a time when I wanted to date you." To which I replied, "yeah, but you're married and that's a line I won't cross." She responded how she's just too lazy to get divorced but I explained how my ex cheated on me with another married man. Hopefully she understands a little better but she did say how "if things don't work out with you and her, I will gladly be your backup." Staying polite, I waved goodbye and walked out.

For now, I'm letting that one go. However, if she persists, I'll have to cut her out of my life as well. 

Now, I know that lots of people are getting involved in polyamorous relationships and I'm not badmouthing anyone involved in that kind of situation. However, anyone in such a relationship knows that, to make it work, you need openness, honesty, and trust with everyone involved.

During my latest dip into the dating pool, I did consider getting involved in such a relationship (or polycule) but I also came to a realization: I'm too selfish to share my partner with anyone. I believe in monogamy for myself. Once again, that works for me. You do you, boo. If you're involved in polyamory then good on you and your partners. 😉

Anyway, to those who do have interest in me, it's one thing to joke around with flirting but I'm not pursuing anyone else right now and I don't wish to be seriously pursued by anyone else.

I'm spoken for and very happy in my relationship with Aerith. 😊

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