One Small Step

So far, since coming out on my masculine self's social media page, the response has still been overwhelmingly positive. I've only lost 4 friends after the post went live and if anyone has a negative opinion of me now, they've kept it to themselves.

I decided to also come clean to my psychologist yesterday (as I previously mentioned I was preparing to do). I've been seeing him for nearly nine years now. Couple that with him being an obvious conservative in my mind, I knew it would be interesting.

I showed him a picture of Aerith and myself from our date this past weekend. He was shocked. He even said "well...I wasn't expecting this."

He at least kept things professional during the session. I explained how I identify, why I didn't tell him before (I chalked it up to trust issues with people, which is partially true), how understanding everyone has been so far (including my girlfriend), and why I wanted to come clean now.

The psychologist then came back with "well, if you're happy and being with her makes you happy then that's all that matters." Thankfully.

He tried getting me to make a new appointment with my most recent therapist but I declined for a few reasons.

First, I haven't spoken to him in about four years now. So, it would feel like starting over.

Secondly, I didn't feel like we had a decent rapport. He seemed way too analytical and like he was just going through a checklist with me. He would also try to push me to religion. I have no problem if religion helps people but it's not for me.

Finally, if I talk to somebody about being pansexual and genderfluid, I'd rather talk to somebody who's psychiatry specialty is in that field. Not just a one stop shop for every possible problem.

My family doctor was supposed to check on that for me but I haven't heard back from her on that. I see her again in March and will ask again about that.

Anyway, my psychologist and I got back into the swing of things discussing life in general. He seemed to come around to just treating me as he had before I told him anything. He still scheduled me for another appointment in a few months as well. So, he didn't let his personal feelings get in the way of my care.

Honestly, I was expecting some type of this reaction from him. My biggest surprise is still that this response to me coming out hasn't been more widespread. It could be that people actually are more accepting around here than I thought. It could also be that saying something online doesn't mean they'll also act that same way in person.

Only time will tell.

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