Shopping Anxiety

As I prepare for my three day weekend in East Rutherford next week, I've started taking inventory of things that I have, things I don't have, and doubling up on items just in case.

Case in point: for my look for GCW at the American Dream, I wanted a certain palette of makeup. I had ordered a makeup kit for this occasion but I wanted to grab a few more items in case what I ordered didn't work for me.

So, after work yesterday, I asked Kitty to go shopping with me. We settled on going to one of the dollar stores for our makeup needs instead of a place like Walmart. This way, there would be fewer people and better prices.

While I probably could've found the items on my own, I had Kitty go with me in both an advisory role and as a confidence booster.

Since I'm still new at makeup application and understanding the different factors of it, I respect Kitty's opinion on makeup styles and necessities. Plus, as stated before, this area isn't very accepting of the LGBTQ community and having an extra person with me helps put my anxiety at bay.

Thankfully, we nearly had our run of the entire store. Other than us, there were two employees, and two elderly ladies who stayed in non-makeup aisles.

At least until we were nearly done. We'd made one pass through each aisle and were going back through just to make sure on a few things. Suddenly, a guy in his twenties or thirties was also making his way through the makeup aisles.

While I'm unsure for whom he was making his purchases, he did look as nervous as I felt. So, it's possible that he's in the same boat as me. I didn't want to actually approach him though in case he was actually buying for his significant other or someone like that (he did look as his cellphone a couple of times).

Anyway, I got an entire bag full of makeup items. Everything from foundation to eye liner to lipstick to ladies deodorant (my spray on deodorant makes me feel lacking in the feminine department) to nail polish to so much more. All of that and I spent less than $25. A very successful trip, to say the least.

Once again, it really helped that Kitty was there to help me. Not that I expected trouble from anyone in particular or that I needed tons of help finding stuff. I still appreciated having the help and support there. I greatly value her insight in what it takes to be a woman.

Trust me: I absolutely know it's not easy to be beautiful. It's even harder when you're AMAB.

That'll do it for me this week. I'll be back with you on Monday. I hope you all have a terrific weekend, my loves!

-Trixie 😘 ❤️ 

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