Heartstopper

My most recent reading adventure involved the first five volumes of Heartstopper by Alice Oseman. Once I began, I literally couldn't put them down. I finished the first volume within thirty minutes and immediately ordered the paperbacks of volumes two through five that day.

For anyone (somehow) unaware, Heartstopper is a series of graphic novels involving main characters Charlie and Nick. They're both teenagers in high school in Britain. Charlie is out as gay (having been outed publicly prior to the beginning of the story).

One day, he sits in a new class next to Nick and immediately begins crushing on him. Nick takes a liking to him as well but, at first, it seems totally platonic. Charlie believes that Nick is straight but pursues a friendship with him, including playing on the rugby team together.

As they become closer, the supporting characters notice that their friendship seems to be blossoming into something more. While Charlie, very obviously, wants this, Nick is either oblivious or unsure...at first.

My favorite panel of this first volume is when Nick leaves after spending the day at Charlie's house. There's an awkward moment between them before Nick, nervously leaves. Tori, Charlie's sister, slinks in from off panel and says about Nick, "I don't think he's straight." (vol. 1, pg. 185). Charlie continues staring there with a dumfounded look on his face while I'm literally belly laughing.

Volume 1 ends with them sharing a kiss and Nick, confused about himself, wanders off; leaving Charlie broken hearted.

Thankfully, for all of us readers, they come back together in volume 2 and are virtually inseparable throughout the rest of the novels; becoming a couple in the process.

While I won't go through the whole process, I will say that it's a wonderfully written story about two people meeting in high school and watching as their relationship develops.

It covers everything: first kiss, first date, becoming "official", Nick discovering himself and realizing he's bisexual, dealing with the ever present bigots of the world (Harry Greene and Nick's brother David are absolute douchebags), their fights, their personal struggles, dealing with the problems of their friends. Just their whole relationship.

Like me, Nick confides a lot in his mom. They have a beautiful moment together when Nick comes out to her about being bisexual and also about his relationship with Charlie. As he cries at their dinner table, Nick's mom stands up, walks over to him, hugs him and simply says "Thank you for telling me." (vol. 2, pg. 286). Just unconditional love. Reminded me so much of when my mom expressed her acceptance of me being genderfluid and pansexual.

In fact, Nick and I have a lot in common as far as personality and how we felt coming out: "When I realized I was bi...I feel like I woke up. Not just my sexuality, but, like, my thoughts and feelings and personality. Because I was repressing so much of myself before then." (vol. 5, pg. 153).

This is absolutely how I felt as I discovered who I was and brought out more of my Trixie side. Still, it doesn't feel like I can fully express myself around everyone; same as Nick.

"But I think I still hide behind that mask a lot of the time just laughing and joking with my mates but never really opening up to anyone." (vol. 5, pg. 154).

Many times, I'll feel like Trixie. Like, I want to be my happy, fun loving, feminine self. But because of the place I work and the people with whom I work, I have to wear that masculine mask everyday.

Part of me just wants to scream out who and what I am. Sometimes, I do feel an obligation to do so. However, Charlie's friend Aled sums up this thinking very well:

"There's this idea that if you're not straight, you HAVE to tell all your family and friends immediately, like you owe it to them. But you don't. You don't have to do anything until you're ready." (vol. 3, pg. 107).

I have to remember this. While I want to be open and honest about myself, not everybody is prepared or willing to hear about it. At some point, I will be ready to tell the entire world about myself, come what may. That day could be soon but I don't feel like it's today. Not with this group especially.

Part of me is more concerned on the possible negatives this could have towards my daughter. Part of it is just being scared about how others will treat me when they know. Then again, I could just be like Charlie when he says "FUCK what anyone thinks." (vol. 5, pg. 262).

Obviously, I love Heartstopper and it really spoke to me. I've barely scratched the surface of all these novels have to offer and can't recommend them all enough. The final volume is arriving (supposedly) in July, 2026. While I can't wait for it to arrive, I'm also sad about it being the last one.

Thankfully, there's plenty of side story novellas, full sized novels focusing on Charlie's sister Tori, and even the Netflix series.

Which I need to watch ASAP. I have it on good authority that the show is as good as the books. It had better be 😊





















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