Trust

When you're genderfluid and pansexual in a very red part of your home state, you have to be careful with whom you trust with information.

While that circle of trust has grown for me over the past few months especially, it's still a number of only about a couple of dozen people.

That number definitely doesn't include many women in the dating pool. In fact, because of where I live and how most people perceive members of the LGBTQ community, I haven't put myself out there for women in this area much.

Granted, I did have that date a month or so ago with that one area girl (who, by the way, seems to have a steady boyfriend now. And good for her. She deserves happiness after all she's gone through). However, she was the exception; not the norm.

For most of the women in this area, they act like this: "Well golly! I'm just a god-fearing, country girl looking for my white trash prince! Y'all better love hunting, dirt biking, mudding, and singers like Conway Twitty! No godless, heathen liberals better apply! I want a biological man to make an honest woman of me while we praise all the good the President does for folks like us! YEEHAW!"

If God does exist then they have a wicked sense of humor having me be born and raised in this area. I grew up Republican because of my parents but I've always been socially liberal, I'm agnostic, I hate motorsports, I only hunted because my dad made me, I can only tolerate some country music, and the idea of being with a brainless twit who believes that the man is always right and has no self formed opinion disgusts me.

Plus, like I've said, whenever someone tells me to find a "good, Christian girl," I tell them how I supposedly had one but she forgot about the "Thou shalt not commit adultery" commandment.

While MLD did express herself as more liberally accepting (sort of a gypsy or hippie in some ways), she was a big Drumpf fan and expressed issues with any man that would be with her just to see them turn around and start dating other men. This coming from the same person who has been in committed relationships with women before. Pot, meet kettle.

Men in this area can be even worse. Women seem like they'll mostly just yell and scream at anything in which they don't agree or don't believe exist. Men act like they'll physically destroy you.

If I had a nickel for every MAGA flag and hat I see in this area, I could've paid off the national debt by now.

The worst is when the few people who do know about me will openly support MAGA principles or make fun of liberals whenever they make a fuss or protest about something. Literally, laughing in my face over it while waving a mini American flag.

Thankfully for them, my parents raised me right. Otherwise, they'd all have way fewer teeth. If I didn't have this level of self control, I'd make Art the Clown's efforts in Terrifier look like My Little Pony by comparison.

But I digress.

Needless to say, this way of thinking of people around me makes it nearly impossible to truly go out and date anyone in this area. Every so often, I do find that needle in a haystack type of person. But it's also a fleeting moment; not a lifelong commitment.

I can at least say I've found my tribe of people.

Maybe, someday though, I'll find my one and only person.

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