From Trixie to Him and Back Again

Good morning, my loves. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. 

Mine wasn't filled with too much excitement. I mostly enjoyed spending time with my family and Griffin at home; either watching football or scary movies. I've now watched the first two Terrifier movies this October and I definitely believe that the second one is better than the first (better character development, little down time, crazy kills, great soundtrack).

The interesting part of this past weekend was I was in full masculine mode the entire time. In fact, I'd felt more like my masculine self since about Thursday night or early Friday morning.

I'm not entirely certain as to why my meter switched from feminine to masculine but it did. The best guess I have is that the main people with whom I'm conversing on the dating apps are feminine, which is naturally making me respond in a more masculine manner.

Also, since I don't dress up as Trixie yet around my daughter, I'm always my masculine self around her in a way.

Finally, football was a major part of the entire weekend and my adrenaline definitely gets pumping whenever I'm watching.

If anything, this experience proves to me what I had believed for the past year: I am genderfluid. I can go back and forth between my two halves and there's nothing wrong with that.

Griffin has told me that he enjoys me more whenever I'm my masculine self, which I understand. It was the version of me which he first met and got to know. However, I feel more comfortable and more fulfilled whenever I identify as Trixie. Griffin also knows this but I feel that he appreciates spending time with me; regardless of my identity that day.

Having said all that, I woke up today and felt more like Trixie. That meter swapped sides yet again today. No real reason that I can think of. I guess I just felt like feeling beautiful instead of handsome lol.

So, I slipped into some comfortable under garments for these tight pants (I love losing weight), put on some of my Vampire Blood fragrance, and am daydreaming about the cute, musclebound guy at work sweeping me off my feet. Even if only for a night.

It'll never happen...but a girl can dream right? 😉

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