How Do People See Me?

Hello, my loves. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

This past weekend, I was in full boy mode on Saturday.

I had my daughter Willow and took her clothes shopping. As I've said before, I'm still presenting as my masculine self around my daughter as I'm worried about causing any strains or confusion for her. She knows about me as Trixie but knowing and experiencing are two different things.

So, I went out with a worn out pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt. I haven't shaved in over a week, so this was as manly as I could look.

I took her first to a discount department store and then to TJ Maxx. Despite me being there with Willow, it was interesting to see the looks I got from the other shoppers. Granted, I'm presenting as a man in the women's clothing department but there's a female child with me. So, what's the problem?

I tried to not make eye contact or would simply nod and say "excuse me" if I had to walk past anyone. But still, they seemed uncomfortable.

Is this how women feel around men out in the public most of the time? If so, I'm very sorry you feel this way and if I make you feel uncomfortable. I know that I'm pansexual and genderfluid but, obviously, nobody would've known that about me on Saturday. 

However, I wasn't looking to connect with anyone that day. Plus, they were all either teenagers or in their twenties; way too young for me.

I did admire aspects of them though as far as if I thought their looks would work for Trixie or not. One girl was working some excellent blue hair and I could see me as Trixie in a blue haired wig if I ever went out to a club. Or someone had dark or goth style clothing and I was wondering if I would look good in something similar. But again, nobody would know my intentions and it's hard to convey nonconservative beliefs in this area. You just never know how people will react.

Anyway, Willow picked out several items at both store to help extend her wardrobe for (hopefully) the rest of the school year.

I also want to brag a little about Willow: her report card came home and she had four A's (including two classes at 100 percent) and only one B. Guess upon which item her mother focused when she saw.

"How are you getting B's?!?! I had straight A's in school! You need to do better!"

Now, would I like her to get straight A's? Of course. Am I upset she got one B? Absolutely not. I told her to keep working hard and how proud of her I was for the A's, especially the 100 percents. She appreciated that.

The rest of Saturday and Sunday was spent for football, with Sunday including Griffin hanging out at our house. I did spend some time on the dating apps which I recently joined (more on that tomorrow) but my time was mostly spent enjoying the company of my best friend, my mom, and my daughter.

What more could a pansexual genderfluid individual ask for?

Maybe a relationship?






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