Feast Your Eyes and Fantasize

Sadly, it's been several years now since I had full on, penetrative sex with anyone. However, that doesn't mean I've been a nun during that stretch. After all, I have two perfectly functional hands (let's call them Poncho and Lefty: also the nicknames Pamela Anderson gave to her breasts).

I strongly believe in the idea of "self love." Just because you don't have a lover of your own means you should deprive yourself of a sexual release. Such frustration could drive anyone insane.

I'm sure it won't come as any surprise that I've had to indulge myself many times over the years. Also, I'm not above watching adult materials to help me out in that situation. They can help me get the fantasy juices flowing. As long as it's legal material. If you have to access the dark web for it then it's nothing in which I'm interested.

Growing up as a male, my obvious go to materials were women. Every red blooded boy going through puberty is enamored with gorgeous, female forms.

I was no different in that respect...but I was also different in that I was also interested in male forms.

While I did fantasize about being with women, it wasn't out of the ordinary to also fantasize about being "involved" with men.

It was intriguing to me to see men seduce other men. While I did try to watch man-on-man videos, they just never fully interested me. I believe this is for two reasons.

First, I was more interested in experiencing it myself rather than watch it. Secondly, while I wouldn't mind experiencing the act as a man, I was also interested in experiencing it as a woman.

So, straight videos, lesbian videos, even transgender videos would work. But not man-on-man videos. I've revisited them from time to time but the results were the same each time.

Even during my teen years, I experimented with toys and roleplaying in my solo sessions. Since it wasn't possible for a teenage boy to go out and buy them himself (life before Amazon Prime, kids), I had to get creative; safe with what I used but also creative with what would work for my mindset. While I did get some minor successes, it wasn't what I was looking for and I just focused on my fantasies.

Even while I was married, my fantasies did persist. So, during the usual times when my wife and I were treating our bedroom like Siberia (cold, gray and devoid of any joy), I'd return to the fantasy world to take out my sexual frustrations.

After the divorce, moving back home, and exploring my identity and sexuality, I decided to revisit the idea of toys. Now an adult and having my own means of funds, I was able to now legally purchase them whenever I desired.

Finding time to use them became another matter. It's difficult to get in the mood with your mom and daughter in rooms next to yours.

So, I wait for Sunday morning when they both go to breakfast with my mom's friends. Then, it's my time for a release.

That leads to this past weekend. I was definitely in the mood but toys were out. Let's just say that the Applebee's I had the previous day was causing issues and it didn't feel safe enough to use any of my usual "friends."

So, it was down to my dirty mind. While I usually watch videos to help get me started, this time I didn't need anything. My fantasies were plenty enough to get me across the finish line.

I imagined being with a man (no one in particular. Just someone who desired me) and I was a woman. I began by exploring myself while still clothed to tease him a bit. At least until he disrobed both himself and me. I imagined him placing his head in my inner thighs as I began to moan in ecstasy.

The fantasy continued as while he was interested in my vagina, that we'd better engage in anal sex so that I didn't get pregnant (again, it's a fantasy. I still have all my male parts).

After engaging in foreplay and a little rougher stuff (spanking really gets me excited), I got to the finish line.

While engaging in this fantasy, I realized just how much I was enjoying being a woman. It wasn't planned to be a full on female roleplay but that's where the fantasy took me.

I see it happening more often...at least until the day (hopefully) comes when I can enjoy the act with someone else.

Now, after explaining that sort of fantasy, I'm sure some of you might need a smoke break. Enjoy! 😜

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Half the Person I Used to Be

People can have lots of different vices to help when they're stressed. Some drink, some smoke, some even do drugs (I don't judge anyone enjoying a little bit of Mother Earth's great green herb. I mean the harder stuff). My vice was always food. Whenever I was stressed or sad or even just bored, I'd immediately go straight for the kitchen or pantry to find something to eat. Any good feelings from doing so would quickly evaporate whenever I would next step onto the scale. Stress eating became a big habit at one point in my life due to working in a hospital at the time and my continuing issues in my marriage. Even after I left that job and the divorce was finalized, I still used food as a coping mechanism. By the time 2023 rolled around and I was actually ready to do something about it (or so I thought), the scales read 336.5 pounds. I was up to wearing size 5XL shirts that had to be specially ordered because no local stores carried them. I talked to my doctor and they sug...
Read more

Voting Day

While it's not one of the "big ones," such as the midterms or the Presidential elections, today is still voting day. You could say that elections like this are even more important since they cover local offices that can affect you everyday. I was born and raised as a Republican because of my parents and their background. However, I became more and more liberal in my thinking once I got to college and beyond. In fact, it became clear to me that my thought process growing up had usually been socially liberal anyway. I officially changed parties to Democrat in 2016. I refused to be associated with Drumpf and the way in which he'd bastardized my idea of the Grand Old Party. I don't have to tell you how upset I was over the results from last year. That orange faced goon won lots of support by actively campaigning against LGBTQ causes, especially the trans community. Not only did his base just lap it up but it felt like Democratic leadership wasn't doing nearly enou...
Read more

Thanks Dad

 My dad was born to a hardworking father and stay-at-home mother in a tough neighborhood. Not only my father but all of his siblings served as living PSAs on what NOT to do in life. I had a family member for each issue raised: drinking, smoking, drugs, infidelity, raising children, racism. Everything they did seemed wrong to me. In fact, I could've made this blog entirely about them and would never run out of material. However, for brevity, I'll focus on my father.  He married his highschool sweetheart and had my sister. It wasn't long before that marriage ended on divorce and my father moved away. While my sister will never admit it, I've always believed that she secretly resented him for leaving her. My father eventually met my mother but it would be ten years before they married. One reason was because her family didn't really like him. They were all very straight laced while he was an alcoholic biker (I guess my mom was into bad boys). Another reason was, at one...
Read more